Jacket weather, AHOY!

I never know how to write electrified posts - posts that I sort of want to just...emit. Virginia's been smelling like fall off and on since a few days before the last time I went up to visit Kate and talked with that guy, Rick, on their back porch. I can't remember exactly which weekend it was, some time in August and we, being good party guests, were attempting to talk about the weather. It was just starting to get chilly at night - the way Virginia can tease you with fall weeks before you're ready for summer to be over, charging the nights with something that only dances around the subject in late afternoons. I love these seasons.

Happy first day of fall is, in essence, the moral of that story.

Mary and I began meeting with students last week and so far it's an exercise in hoping I actually know as much as I pretend to know. While there's part of me which says, "honey - you're doing your best, and you've been through this process, and you're reading. You know as much as you can, don't fret." There's this other part of me that can't shake the feeling that I'm playing ball with these kids lives. And that's the thing - they're kids, they're four years younger than I am and kids. I just want to wrap them all up in hugs and say, "don't you dare forget a minute of the next few years of your life - you're growing so much faster than you realize. Don't you dare take the hardship and the heartache for granted. It's pretty rad, all things considered."

The first kid who came to see us, all of his own accord, (let's call him "Matt" - and understand from here on out, all students will receive pseudonyms) will still probably always be my favorite. His enthusiasm and his complete trust that we knew something he didn't, he couldn't, were just so enchanting - he is the reason I'm in this job, in so many ways. He's also (one of) the (many) reasons this job petrifies me. What do I know, really? I still have huge doubts about my own college choice, delighted as I was with the experience. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I have no 5 year plans. Matt has a plan up through the PhD - and, yes, I know his Sparkly Little Plan (full of life and twinkle guys - you have no idea. These kids twinkle like none others, they all do - just full of sparkle in this mischievous and excited way) will probably change between know and the English PhD + masters in teaching but, geez, at least the kid has a goal!

My life plans include:
- Being happy
- Maybe writing along the way
- Interacting with people
- Never aging because I cannot fathom this kind of indecision in anyone much older than I, but can also not fathom any sort of decisive action. Also I don't like that the pop icons keep getting younger. WHIPPERSNAPPRERS!

Just FYI: I also need to write an entry about TEENAGE VAMPIRES IN LOVE but, you know, I'm getting tired. And I can really only listen to that one deadlines song a few hundred times a day.