Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I hate writing blog posts after a long spell of Not Blogging because, inevitably, there is that moment of "OMG GUYZ, I WOULD'VE UPDATED, LIKE, SO MUCH SOONER BUT MY LIFE IS JUST TOO INTERESTING AND FULL OF FUN THINGS FOR ME TO FIND THE TIME."

Truths it is essential for you, Dear Reader, to keep in mind:

1. My life does, indeed, have fun things in it. It is not, however, 2Full2Function of said fun things.

2. If there's one thing at which I do not excel, it is writing about things that matter to me, have any type of social or emotional connections, or writing with self-imposed deadlines.

3. I travel a lot on the weekends, and I'd intended this blog to be a log of Time Spent In Roanoke, so I always feel a little conflicted about basically posting a list of Things I Did While Not In Roanoke (omg dudez - SO MUCH FUNZ).

However, with the Three Essential Truths in mind, let us embark on A Blog Update.

This is for me, for when I'm re-reading through my blog and trying to remember what I did but didn't write about:

  • I went to Beardfest - a festival for beards.

  • I went to Jen's birthday party which was also beard themed at which I wore the best home-made beard known to man.

  • I went on an Exploring Adventure in the park the day after Jen's birthday. And that was rad.

  • I went up to C'ville to "help judge" UVa's debate tournament. I refer to this happenstance as, "In Wich I Attempted To Converse With People Who Like to Win At Talking...and spooned with Childers."

  • I agreed to a nearly spontaneous road trip to Philadelphia. I refer to this happenstance as, "In Which I Thought 8-9 Hours Was A Totally Reasonable Drive For A Weekend Jaunt...and was perhaps not proven wrong!"

Also, I got sloppy with my Proper-Nouning. I did that a lot.

Here's the truth though: I do lots of fun things on my weekends. On my weekdays, though, I've started to do more fun things too. How odd! This blog used to be a way for me to fend off the inevitably near-crushing depression, the life-sapping boredom, and the isolation of South West Virginia...but now sometimes I do fun things. Sometimes, I even have friends. I'm not even j/k-ing you guys - this is not even an LOL moment.

Wednesday is dessert-and-game night. Mary and I drive out to our friends' (friends!) Jas and Josh's house and we have a game night. WE ACTUALLY DO THAT. We play games, and eat desserts, and are really cute.

That's revolutionary, ladies and gentlemen. That's adjusting. That's me not fighting Roanoke with everything I didn't know I was throwing at it. That's discontent, contented. Feel free to 'ooh' and 'ahh' at your leisure.

This post feels forced and perfunctory to me. I can't help it. I feel like I have to get it out of the way before I can move on. I'm going to spell-check, hit post, and hope to overcome writer's block before long.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I say little more than:

omg, we are teh cutez.

Someday, I will again articulate thoughts! Until then - a picture!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's like the bad part of an indie movie, really.

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma...

I had a weekend filled with Blog Worthy Events of a positive nature, all of which I've been systematically organizing in order to, as luck would have it, blog about them!

I also had a day where I spent almost 3 hours talking to a kid who's unbelievably depressed, thinks about killing himself every day, and reminds me more than anything else of The One From High School.

I just...don't want to think about happy things anymore. This, you might note, is ironic as I spent those 3 hours brainstorming how we could make this kid happier.

I want him to be someone in my life I can hug. I want him to be someone in my life I can shake, or scream at, or call at 2am and say "we're going for a drive - you're snapping out of it." I want to have that power in his life, and I want to have it as a friend.

What he needs, I imagine, is what I actually am: an authority figure. I'm someone who has to tell his counselor if he tells me these things. I'm someone who's required by law to say and do and be certain things.

Today he told me he doesn't think of me so much as a teacher, but as a complete person. I don't think he meant it insultingly - he meant to say he thinks he can trust me. I value that trust so much, but I feel like just having it betrays it. I'm not his friend, I'm his College Planning Advisor, I'm a middle-man counselor. I'm not even certified to talk to him about his emotions (that may, at the end of the day, be on the 'frowned upon' spectrum of actions).

It'd be easier if he were just...not so much like friends I used to have. He hits close to home, this kid.

I gave him the link to the happiness project and told him to google MPDGs and why they're an impractical solution to sadness, alluring as they sound.

I tried to say Intelligent and Adult things.

I told his counselor.

I do not want to think about happy things right now.