Ladies, should you find yourself Out On The Town in the same small southern city in which you were raised be aware - danger lurks! Yes, Dear Ladies - danger lurks, danger of a most nefarious sort! Keep vigilant, ladies, lest you find yourself and your Leggy Blond friend ground allupons (grinded allupons?) by one of your former local news anchors. Be wary ladies. So wary.
So, so wary.