Saturday, September 13, 2008

Dudes who think cat-calling is funny, listen up.

Dear Dudes of the Universe,

I am displeased with you. For realz, yo. Sure, Dudes, I guess it's a little lame to blame you all for the actions of One Dude (or One Dude and ACCOMPLICE) but - dems da breaks. The way we culture you is exceedingly displeasing to me right now.

Dudes, you may be asking yourselves, "what did one of our number do?" I will gladly illuminate. As I was walking Georgia today, one of your number pulled up to a large intersection where I, too, was waiting to cross. He rolled down his window and yelled (across three lanes of traffic), "hey sexy!"

I was kind of freaked out. Cat calling is weird - I used to find it kind of flattering, but now I just find it degrading and like it's mocking me. I am always positive the Cat Calling Dude was triple-dog-dared right before he yelled at me, and THAT doesn't make me feel awesome. It's alarming, it's intimidating, and it makes me feel like by merely existing in the world I am somehow being Too Provocative. It also makes me feel unsafe and like you're really super duper making fun of me. Dudes -Cat Calling is not my favorite. Just, keep that one in mind.

Well, I rolled my eyes and turned to cross the road in the other direction, and Cat Calling Dude shouts, "Don't roll your eyes at me - all you have to do is say 'hi' or something." I, feeling guilty (and threatened! Dudes Who Cat Call - you have loud voices and cars! You have the position of power!) said "hey!"

Cat Calling Dude, "Now was that so hard? You know if I had been a white guy, you would've loved me to say something to you."

Let's pause here for a collective W.T.F.!? For starters, I think you should know - Cat Calling Dude was BY FAR the cutest guy to ever cat call me - except for his jerkitude, he was an attractive guy. So, really, if we're talking about guys I'd respond well to - this guy is topping the list. I responded badly not because there was something empirically physically that I responded poorly to - BUT BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING HARASSING ME WHILE I WAS TRYING TO WALK MY DOG.

Just because I DO NOT WANT YOU YELLING AT ME ON THE STREET does not make me racist! I want to drop the jokey tone for a second because I'm really fucking offended. The more I think about this, the more offended I become. I cannot control the global gaze as it pertains to my body - I accept this. I can, however, control how I respond to that gaze, and I don't have to love it. To assert that there's NO way I would want to respond positively to any guy who sexualizes me on the street unless I had some more nefarious rationale is positively sickening.

I yelled back, "No. Sorry. I have a boyfriend."

He said, "Oh. Sorry."

1. What the fuck was I supposed to say "Hey - wanna fuck? You just yelled at me on the street, so I'd like to hop in your car and have sex with you now." Huh? What would he have accepted as the "proper" response to something like that?

2. I should not need a make believe boyfriend in order to deflect creepazoids on the street. How the fuck do you make me feel so frightened and guilty?

Gah. GAAAHHH. So freaking obnoxious.

Dudes - do not be like the dude who yelled at me today. You're better than that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I also got catcalled today. It was a strange experience. I was walking out of the sketchy supermarket that's right next to my apartment, wearing a sweatshirt, jeans and no make-up, when this guy passes me, whistles and says..."nice hips."

I don't know how to feel about it. I kind of want to give him points for focusing on my somewhat wide hips as opposed to the obvious, but then again, if I'm going to be reduced to a body part, it would have been neater to be complimented on my ankles or ears or something.